Recent Articles About Stress, Depression & Anxiety

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5 Ways To Help A Depressed Loved One

- by Chris Green

(c) Chris Green - All Rights reserved
http://www.conqueringstress.com
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When a person is suffering the torment of a stressful,
depressive or anxious episode, it can be so hard for loved
ones and friends to connect with them. For the sufferer, the
torment can be exacerbated because no one understands what
they're going through.

Here's 5 ways you can develop understanding so you can reach
a loved one.

1. A common reaction to a sufferer is: "Oh, come on, you'll
be OK, it's all in the mind." Although stress, depression
and anxiety have their roots in thought, there are many
other symptoms involved. Severe headache, back pain, muscle
pain, exhaustion, palpitations, hypertension, shaking, loss
of appetite, loss of sex drive and loss of interest in
previously enjoyable activities to name several. There are
many other symptoms and it's also important to understand
that no sufferer experiences the same symptoms. E.g. One may
develop severe back pain another may develop headaches. As
you can see, it is much more complicated than "all in the
mind".

2. Another reaction is to say "What have you got to be so
worried about? Many people throughout the world have it much
worse than you do and they're happy." Now fair enough, when
you look at the plight millions of people have to endure
around the world, living in squalor and poverty, then yes,
they do have a terrible time. So do people who suffer severe
illness and disability. But this just won't have any bearing
on how a sufferer feels at all. In my own case, when people
said this to me it meant nothing because I couldn't change
their circumstances and I was struggling to solve my own
problems. I couldn't care about anyone else. This is a
symptom of depression. A sufferer will turn inwards and
disconnect from society. They need help to solve their
problems. Pointing out that others have it worse will not
help in any way.

3. Non sufferers find it very hard to accept depression,
anxiety and stress as real problems. Many will say "Oh,
you've just got the blues. Don't worry, they'll soon go
away." Of course, there will be times in all of our lives
when things don't run smoothly, when things go awry, when
the weather is awful, when friends let you down, when you
just feel a bit sad. We call these "the blues" and we know
that the blues will eventually lift. There is a big
difference between "the blues" and stressful, depressive or
anxious episodes. Sufferers firmly believe their torment
will never end and they cannot see a positive outcome to any
problem. Add these feelings to the physical symptoms and you
can see that "the blues" is vastly different.

4. Self-deprecation is typical of these problems. Sufferers
will put themselves down at every opportunity. They'll do it
when they're alone and they'll do it when they're in the
company of others. E.g. "No, you go ahead. I won't bother
because I'll just get it wrong like everything else I do."
When you hear this, avoid the urge to challenge it or
reprimand. Instead, gently and subtly remind them of a time
when something went well. Just say "Hey, do you remember
that time when you…" Challenging or reprimanding will only
arouse resentment and they'll just think you're against
them. This is a very subtle way of reminding the sufferer of
a more positive event.

5. Frustration is also common amongst people who cannot
understand what their loved one is going through. And it can
soon give way to anger and resentment as patience wears
thin. Criticism begins. "You've always been negative. The
glass is always half empty with you. All you've ever done is
look on the downside. You want to stop feeling sorry for
yourself and pull yourself together." Whilst I can
understand the frustration, this kind of approach will only
have 2 outcomes: Your loved one will resent you so much they
will start avoiding you and their torment will deepen. As
frustrating as it is, please resist this. Give them space.
Reassure them you're there for them no matter what. If your
frustration is getting the better of you, take a time out to
gather your thoughts by going for a walk. Yes it's hard but
the alternative is to make things harder.

I know it's so difficult to reach loved ones and I know it's
so hard to understand what's happening. This article will
help you and your loved one to deal more effectively with
the torment.

Until next time.


Chris Green is the author of "Conquering Stress", a special
program which will show you how to conquer stress,
depression and anxiety without taking powerful drugs. For more
information, please click here=>
http://www.conqueringstress.com