I see so many people searching online for answers to help
improve confidence, build self esteem, unlock motivation and
find positive attitudes.
But I am often amazed at how many of the answers we already
have inside of us ... it's just that we haven't found the
right questions to ask of ourselves yet.
In this summary article, I'll explain how asking these 7
great questions can help you get the answers you are looking
for.
Question No. 1: "What Is My Ideal Outcome?"
If you want to boost your confidence and build your self
esteem, what are you doing it for?
There must always be an outcome for the mind-body
connection, or else it will simply remain at "status-quo"
due to inertia.
So specify an outcome:
What will your world look like when you have this new-found
self esteem and self confidence?
Take some time to write out your "new ideal week".
And if you can also take on board these more advanced
questions below, you might find yourself enjoying your
outcome(s) sooner than you think.
How will you think differently?
What new emotions will you feel?
How will you stand, sit, hold yourself differently?
Question No. 2: "How Many Different Ways Can I Create To
Reach My Outcome?"
Now assuming you do have an outcome, is it so fixed that
there is only one way you can be happy?
Here's how to test this ... if at any point your ideal
future or outcome tests positive to this statement; "I'll be
happy when ...", or "I'll feel better because ...", then it
could be that you are too dependent on only one way to
achieve your outcome.
So design multiple paths, brainstorm multiple and flexible
alternatives - Plan A, Plan B, Plan C ... any one of which
will get you your desired outcome.
Question No. 3: "How Do I Encode My Future?"
When I ask this question of my students, I often get blank
looks (not surprisingly).
Yet we all "encode our future" -- in fact you cannot not
encode your future -- but few people except world-class
sports people do it deliberately to achieve better results.
Try this: Imagine standing right at the edge of a tall
building. Now lean forward. If your body responded to these
imaginary thoughts, then how powerful would it be to imagine
your future unfolding exactly the way you want it to.
Tip: The best way to make this work is to work backwards
from after the outcome is achieved - for example, look back
at your day before you start it and imagine all the great
things you have already achieved.
Question No. 4: "What Am I Prepared To Leave Behind?"
Are you "hanging onto any baggage" just because it feels
comfortable?
So many people I talk to are desperate to change themselves
but refuse to let go of the past ... or even the present.
Let's face it, to have things be different in your life, you
have to do things differently and be different yourself.
That means that some "less-than-useful" aspects of yourself
will have to be thrown out.
Question No. 5: "How Am I Comparing Myself?"
This is an extraordinarily powerful question to ask
yourself.
There are empowering internal comparisons we make -- and
also those that can be extremely disempowering.
To take a well-known phenomenon -- the rise of anorexia. It
is clear that comparisons between say, self-in-the-mirror to
supermodel-in-the-magazine, are unhealthy and can cause
extreme behaviors such as anorexia.
So make sure that your comparisons are pragmatic. Compare
yourself to an expert if you wish to be motivated ... but
perhaps choose to compare your-best-self-in-the-future with
their-worst-self-in-the-past-at-the-same-point-in-their-
life-as-you-are-now. (Lots of hyphens, but you get my
drift).
Question No. 6: "Where Am I Reacting Rather Than
Responding?"
Someone visits their Doctor.
The Doctor says, "You are reacting to the treatment"
Oh-no!! How could this be? What has gone wrong?
Contrast that with this scenario ...
Someone visits their Doctor.
The Doctor says, "You are responding to the treatment"
Thank goodness!
In our lives we can end up reacting to so many things that
we no longer have real control.
By learning to "respond" (yes, you'll need to actually
unlearn reacting and to find some ways of learning how to
"respond") you will find your ability to choose your
direction and outcomes will rapidly expand.
Even just thinking to yourself, "Now how can I respond
differently?" will be of great assistance.
Question No. 7: "What Is Stopping Me From Having It Now?"
I love this question -- it is one I use so often on myself!
If you are someone that finds all sorts of excuses and
reasons for not attaining outcomes (as I used to be) --
maybe you procrastinate -- or what can be worse, you over-
plan and strive for perfectionism -- just keep asking
yourself: "What is stopping me from having this now/doing
this now/being this now?". You will find this will quickly
mobilize your behavior towards becoming more useful.
Sometimes it even helps you create alternative paths of
action to help you get your outcomes more easily and
effortlessly.
By asking all of the above 7 questions on a regular basis,
you'll find so many more ways you can build self esteem,
boost self confidence, attain new levels of motivation and
discover a new world of happiness.
And remember also to relax enough to allow your powerful
unconscious mind to give you some useful help along the way.
All the best!
Robert Scanlon is a corporate consultant, NLP Trainer, and
the author of "Supercharge Your Self Esteem and Self
Confidence To New Heights", an online multimedia course and
ebook that helps you find your own answers to the
questions above.
